Yoga, LGBTQ London Centre & Gender Identity!

Friday 26th April 2019 – Diary

Thank you for your support and coming to see my blog. I am sorry that I have not been writing as much as I would have liked.

Last Saturday was the last session of Eat Breathe Thrive (EBT) Yoga. EBT support people with eating disorders. On the second session (Saturday, 23rd March 2019), I came out as a Trans Woman. According to‘Transwoman’ is ‘an adult who was born male but whose gender identity is female’ (na; (2019)).

I have been working on making LGBTQ (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender and Questioning / Queer. (Grisham; L; 2016)

Equality colour items for the party which will be the last time the group that I was on will meet. Of course, there is a lot of opportunities for us to meet up. The group collectively agreed to do something to support the LGBTQ community. We have chosen to support the
London LGBTQ Centre

I am making knitted book tokens, as one of the participants goes to University who has to read lots of books! I am hoping a bright colour hand knitted book marker will keep her inspired.

Hand Knitted Hand-Towel

Today, psychaitrist has sent my referal of to the Gender Identity Clinic in London,who will start preparing me to transition into a female.


Eat Breathe Thrive:
Trans Woman:
LGBT’Q’ Queer/Questioning:
London LGBTQ Centre:

One Month On

Friday 19th April 2019 – Diary 

Today, Friday the 19th of April, is the fourth week I have come out as a Trans Woman. My life as a woman has been great, other than last friday when I was robbed.  I am loving my new clothes and the feeling that these bring to me.  It is hard to explain how I am feeling everyday.  But I do not have that dark cloud hanging over me that I had when I was in the ‘closet’.

I am now starting to put make-up on and I am enjoying the self-care that I show myself. This ‘mothering’ care is enhancing the quality of my everyday life.  Before I came out, I found looking after myself very difficult, actually if I am completely honest, it did not exist.  It was a chore that I did not like doing.  I did not respect myself and this increased my depression and the hate I had for myself.

My new love for myself has given me a new release of life.  Everyday is a new start.  I take pride in how I look.  I am lucky to be able express myself in this way without judgement.  In many countries and terrorities the way I express myself is not possible.

On Facebook, I am in contact with at least one person who is not able to express themselves.  They want to be a woman, but born as a man, (this is known as M to F (MtoF)).  This person is very depressed and they feel lost.  I could not imagine how they are coping.

According to the Guardian newspaper’s website there are sevent-two (72) countries that it is illegal to have or to be in a Gay relationship (2017).  The article also states that there are forty-five (45) countries in which being in a lesbian relationships is also illegal.

The article further states “there were twenty (20) countries who decriminialised same sex relationships before the 1900’s” (2017).  This allowed same sex relationships.  Britian only decriminalised it fifty (50) years ago.

The article shows a detailed map of the world where being in a gay reationship can be punished by death or inprisonment.



New Beginnings Identity Crisis

Tuesday 9th April – Diary

Trigger Warning: – Difficulty in Accepting their Gender

I am not sure if I have uploaded this piece of writing.  It is about me coming out.  With tears streaming down my face with happiness, it is time I allowed it to release my feminine side and I become a woman. Loves to dress up in them. This was not some boy confused. It felt great, for a short while until I got a Catholic Priests hand and foot laid into me. Told I was a sinner.

I came out as gay at the age of 12. But I was still not happy with my identity. I still admired the girls around me. Wishing to be like them.

When I was 20 or 21 I had my first girlfriend. I was in heaven because I was with a woman but I still felt uncomfortable with my body.

Some of you know that I have recently became divorced. My ex-wife who is Japanese knew my true identity and was supportive. However, she was to petite and small for me to try her clothes on. I did not dare to buy in public.

The last words my ex-wife said to me:

“Taka, at long last you can be who you want to be, you are free, you have suffered long enough, it is time you allowed yourself to be you”.

With tears streaming down my face with happiness, it is time I allowed my feminine side to be released and become a true loving woman. The weight has been released from my shoulders.

I have been starving myself, to become slim.

I have always eked when I seen two women love each other. I longed that it would have been me in that situation.

I have chosen my name to be Caitlin, in Irish it means “Pure”.

Thank you all for your loving kind words.

Caitlin Celine Cullaghan