Wednesday 6th March 2019 – 09:30 – Diary
What I hate about emotionally unstable personality disorder and the other personal disorders that I’ve got is as following
I think for me it’s emotional cause I got emotional unstable personality disorder so one minute I could be friendly and then the next minute pushing away but I don’t mean to as the saying goes a push is better than a shove. Or another way of putting it go before your thrown out I fear rejection more than anything else.
My emotions go from high, I’m excited with happiness to all of a sudden Sadness in a blink of an eye. It hurts a lot.
Thursday 28th February 2019 – Diary
Tonight I failed. I lasted just over 24 hours before I began Self-Harm.
I hate myself and the life that I am leading.
I am sorry that I am letting you down.
25th February 2019 – Diary
This is how I am feeling at the moment, hiding. Hiding from the real world.
Friday 22nd February 2019 – Diary
Recently I have only understood why people cut themselves. I thought it was just wanting Attention.
But as I have started to cut myself it is not for attention but an attempt to try and ease mental unease.
Thursday 21st February 2019 – Diary
Last night I did another cut, I am hurting so much, I need to be able to talk, but I’ve got no one to talk to, and I can’t keep using helplines.
This morning I did another cut I feel so angry with myself for how I have treated my family, or should I say my ex-family.
I want to crawl out of my skin. I hate who I am. I hate how I feel. I hate how I look. I don’t know how I can stop this self mutating because I am hurting so much.
I am lost.