Wednesday 6th March 2019 – 09:30 – Diary
What I hate about emotionally unstable personality disorder and the other personal disorders that I’ve got is as following
I think for me it’s emotional cause I got emotional unstable personality disorder so one minute I could be friendly and then the next minute pushing away but I don’t mean to as the saying goes a push is better than a shove. Or another way of putting it go before your thrown out I fear rejection more than anything else.
My emotions go from high, I’m excited with happiness to all of a sudden Sadness in a blink of an eye. It hurts a lot.
You stop me ask me my name
I tell you
You ask my age
I tell you
Your reply "aren't you a bit young to be on the streets"
"No" is my reply
Why you ask
"It's cos of what I have done, what I've went through"
What do you mean?"
"Leave me, leave me
Let me live my life, my life, not your life.
I dont want to go through:"
"Interview of Pain
Interview of Hurt
Interview of Sadness
Interview of Rejection
Interview of Memories"
I don't want a bed for life
I just want to rest for a while
So what's all these questions.
When I'm told I've to high of support needs,
I go "what do you fucking mean?"
What am I meant to do?
I don't want to go through that interview.
This poem was written when I was homeless in 1999,
I had been homeless for over four years in Central Loondon and could not get anywhere to stay.