Thoughts of how I view the world.

Friday 19th April 2019 – Diary

Today I’ve been working on my blog and updating it. I have been busy doing this and did not notice my feelings.

I am lonely I wish I had someone with me that loved me for who I am. Normally I would be busy talking to my adopted daughter but she’s not online at the moment. Out of all the people on my list on Facebook there’s no one to talk to. It’s sad that I rely on social media to keep me content but I do not know any other way.

I am avoiding doing necessary tasks like cleaning my flat I don’t want to start but I know I should. I know I will get angry with myself for failing to do this but it seems such a big effort for little reward.

I am going to go to my writers group tonight it’s in the Jailhouse bar, my very first night going to this group was in this place and it took me forever to find it.

How can I win over my negativity? I must remain positive in my way of thinking.


Getting Healthier

Tuesday 5th March 2019 – Diary

Since joining the Facebook groups over the last few days people having very understanding and caring.  They have not judged me for my many difficulties.

There has been one particular person from East Midlands who spent hours talking to me.  It felt good that she took an interest in me as a person.

It is very nice to have this interaction with people.  The last year I have had very little opportunity to talk with other people.

I have been emotionally and physically wrapped up in my own emotional problems and Crisis that I had not given myself the necessary chances to develop potential friendships.

I felt a lot of the stuff I spoke to this person was gibberish and unimportant, however I was not judged publicly, or is indeed at all.  I was not made to feel stupid neither which has often been the case in the past.

I owe it to my son to lead a healthy, safe, happy and positive life.  I need to take small but consistent steps to develop this outlook.

I need to remind myself that there will be times when I feel that I am failing in this determination.

This morning I posted the following blog:

Getting to Grips with my life.

Getting to Grips and coming to terms with my new life.  I will need your help to continue being positive.  When I fall down, please help me back up.
#Borderline #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #borderlinestrong #depression #depressed #loneliness

I chanted that today is a new beginning and that I do not return 2 my self destructive ways.