Emotional Unstable Personality Disorder (E. U. P. D.)

Wednesday 6th March 2019 – 09:30 – Diary
Posted Wednesday 6th Mar 2019

What I hate about emotionally unstable personality disorder and the other personal disorders that I’ve got is as following:

I think for me it’s emotional cause I got emotional unstable personality disorder, so one minute I could be friendly and then the next minute pushing (them) away, but I don’t mean to as the saying goes a push is better than a shove. Or another way of putting it go before your thrown out I fear rejection more than anything else.

My emotions go from high, I’m excited with happiness to all of a sudden sadness in a blink of an eye. It hurts a lot.

Crippling Tendencies

Friday 8th March 2019 – Diary 
Posted on 8th Mar 2019

I deplore myself because I’ve got Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder (eupd). I grab that anyone who makes contact with me is this the person that could just be the one that changes my life and becomes my soul mate?

Eupd is irrational, it makes the sufferer “grab’ at the slightest tiniest piece of hope and it makes them worry. Have I said too much to that person?

Do they think I am worthy of their love, their care, their presence? We think negatively about ourselves am I not worthy of their loved or their time and so on.

How do We Overcome these negative tendencies that crippled our lives?

Hate Body Image

Friday 8th March 2019 – Diary
Posted on `Friday 8th Mar 2019

Trigger Warning

I suffer from an eating disorder called Avoidant Reluctant Food Intake Disorder (ARFID) when stressed the sufferer finds it difficult to eat.

It’s started I was feeling nauseous when I tried to eat. I then stopped eating.

Then I have seen how my weight has been reducing. I have started counting calories and carbs. Yesterday I was trying to walk up a hill. I bought packet of biscuits. I ate three. As soon as I got to the top I vomited.

I am still extremely fat. I need to lose another 10 kg before I can even consider anything else.

I am tired.