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Tuesday 5th March 2019 – Diary

Since joining the Facebook groups over the last few days people having very understanding and caring.  They have not judged me for my many difficulties.

There has been one particular person from East Midlands who spent hours talking to me.  It felt good that she took an interest in me as a person.

It is very nice to have this interaction with people.  The last year I have had very little opportunity to talk with other people.

I have been emotionally and physically wrapped up in my own emotional problems and Crisis that I had not given myself the necessary chances to develop potential friendships.

I felt a lot of the stuff I spoke to this person was gibberish and unimportant, however I was not judged publicly, or is indeed at all.  I was not made to feel stupid neither which has often been the case in the past.

I owe it to my son to lead a healthy, safe, happy and positive life.  I need to take small but consistent steps to develop this outlook.

I need to remind myself that there will be times when I feel that I am failing in this determination.

This morning I posted the following blog:

Getting to Grips with my life.

Getting to Grips and coming to terms with my new life.  I will need your help to continue being positive.  When I fall down, please help me back up.
#Borderline #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #borderlinestrong #depression #depressed #loneliness https://t.co/fn5fvsoRkc

I chanted that today is a new beginning and that I do not return 2 my self destructive ways.

Thinking, ‘A Blue Moment’

I find it very hard to change my way of thinking.  My life situations have never been normal.  They have been dangerous and very disturbing.  These  situations left me very #vulnerable to manipulation by those around me. Those people were in a position of authority, but also of trust, as a result they had power over me.

Those people by law had a duty to care for me. That was the very last thing they did. I am very critical of myself due to the treatment. I am reading an article I found on Psychology Today which discusses how we can change our way of thinking. The author Amy Morin states recognising “the blue thoughts” (2018). These are the thoughts that will lead us into a depressive state of mind and has an impact on our well-being (‘The Beginner’s Guide to Changing Negative Thoughts’).

My problem is, when I am in a depressive, a sad, state, beinging  able to bring myself into a better mind set. I have no external people who can assist in changing my way of thinking. It is not like being on the television program ‘Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?’ Where a contestant can phone a friend!

What do you do to help yourself when you are in a blue moment? blue’ bluemoment?

References: https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/what-mentally-strong-people-dont-do/201 805/the-beginners-guide-changing-negative-thoughts

https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/experts/amy-morin