Thoughts of how I view the world.

Friday 19th April 2019 – Diary

Today I’ve been working on my blog and updating it. I have been busy doing this and did not notice my feelings.

I am lonely I wish I had someone with me that loved me for who I am. Normally I would be busy talking to my adopted daughter but she’s not online at the moment. Out of all the people on my list on Facebook there’s no one to talk to. It’s sad that I rely on social media to keep me content but I do not know any other way.

I am avoiding doing necessary tasks like cleaning my flat I don’t want to start but I know I should. I know I will get angry with myself for failing to do this but it seems such a big effort for little reward.

I am going to go to my writers group tonight it’s in the Jailhouse bar, my very first night going to this group was in this place and it took me forever to find it.

How can I win over my negativity? I must remain positive in my way of thinking.

Emotional Unstable Personality Disorder (E. U. P. D.)

Wednesday 6th March 2019 – 09:30 – Diary

What I hate about emotionally unstable personality disorder and the other personal disorders that I’ve got is as following

I think for me it’s emotional cause I got emotional unstable personality disorder so one minute I could be friendly and then the next minute pushing away but I don’t mean to as the saying goes a push is better than a shove.  Or another way of putting it go before your thrown out I fear rejection more than anything else.

My emotions go from high, I’m excited with happiness to all of a sudden Sadness in a blink of an eye.  It hurts a lot.

Further Emotional Pain

Thursday 21st February 2019 – Diary 

Trigger Warning

Last night I did another cut, I am hurting so much, I need to be able to talk, but I’ve got no one to talk to, and I can’t keep using helplines.

This morning I did another cut I feel so angry with myself for how I have treated my family, or should I say my ex-family.

I want to crawl out of my skin. I hate who I am. I hate how I feel. I hate how I look. I don’t know how I can stop this self mutating because I am hurting so much.

I am lost.