New Beginnings Identity Crisis

Tuesday 9th April – Diary

Trigger Warning: – Difficulty in Accepting their Gender

I am not sure if I have uploaded this piece of writing.  It is about me coming out.  With tears streaming down my face with happiness, it is time I allowed it to release my feminine side and I become a woman. Loves to dress up in them. This was not some boy confused. It felt great, for a short while until I got a Catholic Priests hand and foot laid into me. Told I was a sinner.

I came out as gay at the age of 12. But I was still not happy with my identity. I still admired the girls around me. Wishing to be like them.

When I was 20 or 21 I had my first girlfriend. I was in heaven because I was with a woman but I still felt uncomfortable with my body.

Some of you know that I have recently became divorced. My ex-wife who is Japanese knew my true identity and was supportive. However, she was to petite and small for me to try her clothes on. I did not dare to buy in public.

The last words my ex-wife said to me:

“Taka, at long last you can be who you want to be, you are free, you have suffered long enough, it is time you allowed yourself to be you”.

With tears streaming down my face with happiness, it is time I allowed my feminine side to be released and become a true loving woman. The weight has been released from my shoulders.

I have been starving myself, to become slim.

I have always eked when I seen two women love each other. I longed that it would have been me in that situation.

I have chosen my name to be Caitlin, in Irish it means “Pure”.

Thank you all for your loving kind words.

Caitlin Celine Cullaghan

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